I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
