last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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