My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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