dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
