You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
