If that was your dad, he is hot
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
