Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
