did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize