I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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