Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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