How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
