If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I didn't notice because vodka
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
