i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Its about making memories worth repressing
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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