yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
