It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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