Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
