We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
