I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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