I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
