why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
