She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
