her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Say something about gay babies.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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