Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
