I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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