Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
