no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
