Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
