can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
