whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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