But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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