So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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