he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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