I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
