yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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