Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize