i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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