My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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