wanna go halves on a baby?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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