why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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