That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
