I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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