I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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