Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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