dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
