Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
