the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
