Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
