I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
