ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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