the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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