Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
