At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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