I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
