was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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