Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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