I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
