Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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