OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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