her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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